Horror-Scopes
April 11, 2008
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
If you marry a virgin, you can eliminate the criticism.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
If you marry a virgin, you can eliminate the criticism.
Gemini (May 21 - June 2l)
There is no happiness – there are only moments of happiness. Your moment is almost up.
Cancer (June 22 - July 22)
“Immature people imitate - Mature people steal”. Your ability to imitate and steal at the same time is a skill some people would envy. Of, course those people are either unemployed, or in jail. - Something to look forward to.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You are not alone - Half the people are faking it.
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)
The definition of a bore is someone when asked how they are – tells you.
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23)
Think of an artichoke as a metaphor of the layers of your life – Frightening.
Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21)
When it comes to Ying and Yang - You are Jung!
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 2l)
You can take your children everywhere – but they will probably find their way back home.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19)
Be true to your teeth, or they will bite you in the ass.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
Anyone who believes the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach gets a D in geography.
Pisces (Feb. l9 - March 20)
I was going to suggest you buy a copy of “The Power of Positive Thinking”, and then I thought better of it – I mean… what the hell would that do for you?
