PRODUCT – THE ZIPPER

Every so often something comes along that makes life…easier. The zipper is one of those things. At a recent Sewing Expo GOD was looking over, GOD spotted a relatively new product called Easy Zippers by Islander Sewing Systems. Their tag line, “Everything you need to know from A to Zip”, says it all. In truth, and GOD is all about truth, Easy Zippers is geared toward sewers, specifically making it easier to install the much under-appreciated zipper. It was the “easy” part that caught GOD’s eye. The last “easy” product GOD really enjoyed was the “Easy Bake Oven”, which was easy because it didn’t really do anything, including bake. What’s next - the “easy” wife, or the “easy” husband? How about the “easy” two-year old? GOD appreciates “easy”, but knows “easy” is only a sugar substitute for reality. Which brings GOD back to the zipper. The reality of the zipper is that without it, everyday life would be more difficult. Think about the suitcase, or the sweatshirt, or the obvious - pants. Without the zipper, for most men, daily life would certainly not be “easy”. GOD is really happy with the zipper, and commends the Easy Zippers people for taking it to a new level. So GOD says zip it up, or zip it down - either way it beats buttons.

8 Commandments

FOOD - KUMQUAT

If there was ever a food with a bad name this is it. The Kumquat is a phonetic disaster. GOD doesn’t understand why anyone who first pronounces this vegetable correctly would ever eat it. Think about it. Tomato is a lovely sounding vegetable, and a favorite of GOD. And, carrot strikes a cord with GOD on many levels, as does string bean and broccoli. But, Kumquats - GOD has to give this one a pass.

3 Commandments

OCCUPATION – ASTROLOGERS

GOD has no real problem with Astrologers, other then the fact people actually make decisions based on what they say. It’s going to be a good day, so get up and get going. It hurts GOD to see a person, smiling, as they run across the street without a care in the world, until a bus hits them. And GOD has no problem with the warning that someone close to them is going to disappoint them, specifically that your spouse is having an affair with your next-door neighbor. GOD thinks astrologers have a place in the world of GOD, but maybe not the place they like to take at the head of the table, so to speak. GOD thinks that astrologers should maybe instead sit at the kid’s table.

6 Commandments